Thoughts on insane love

So I could start this off with the teenaged angst of "I hate valentines day!", but that would be an outright lie. Although I have not had a valentine, save one year, I still enjoy the day. Yes, people need to get a room. Yes, I don't have a valentine and it sucks. But this is still a fun day. It has made me realize my choices. I could have a valentine. The new question would be, who would this valentine be? And should I peruse a certain person? Will it end up like it always does? Me being dumped for an older guy? Should I turn bi and go after a guy? Me going bi would most likely not happening(but it could make things easier, guys are so much less moody), but me being dumped for someone older is a high chance. Now, should I take the chance of being dumped for the period of happiness she could bring me? Or should I go player and play multiple girls, and get back at all the girls who have hurt me? No, I'm too nice for that. But I could should I get mad at someone.

But back on point, the girl is someone I had liked before, and still has a place. but she is a grave robber, she goes for guys much older. Guys that are in college. Does this raise the chances of being dumped for someone older? The choice will have to be made. She has show extreme interest, but I have been wrong about that before.

But then that raises the utmost hardest question, will I even have time? Should I start a relationship that lacks the actual time together because of my dense schedule, which is about to get much much busier. That wouldn't be fair to her would it? At that point, I'd deserve being dumped. But if she is the right kind of girl, she'd understand and support me to the best she can. And force me to go on dates, not just for the relationship, but to keep me from losing control.

Her having to keep me sane is a weight that hardly any other girlfriend would have to deal with. With great power comps great destruction. The strength of my brain and the power it posses is counteracted by the degree of insanity It also contains. Can she even survive that strain? Could she put up with insanity? Or would it be cruel to put her through that?

Yet again, a perfect girlfriend would be able to survive. But we are young and quite imperfect. And just hopping she'd be able to put up with it is nothing. If I do start a relationship, should I tell her when I ask her, so she knows what she will have to deal with? Or should I say after the fact "Oh and just so you know, I'm bound to lose control. Just so ya know". Or should I wait until I'm losing control? Maybe never tell her and hope she can put up with it?

Now, the final question. Can I even love? Does my insanity keep me from forming close bonds? If one can reprogram their own brain, is the reprogrammed affection really love? Or maybe it's just an automation. Science states that nothing can be proven, only disproven. So I can't prove that love exists, in me or other people, but I can prove it doesn't for me or other people. But if I prove I don't have love, then I would have to live knowing that I can't love.

~!King Nai of Sajasabie Inc.
An insite to insanity

P.S. SCREW IT, I'll do it anyway :D